so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
