it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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