you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
