that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
