There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
