does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
