I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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