So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
