I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
