You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
