the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
