yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize