dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
