I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
As shirtless as possible
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
