Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
