So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
