How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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