so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
