3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
