i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
