I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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