You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
