I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
