i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
