I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
