We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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