i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Randomize
