dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
