im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just puked most of my soul out..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize