I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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