We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize