so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize