it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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