i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Someone signed my nipple.
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