And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
