Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize