he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
