you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
