if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
