at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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