and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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