My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
