I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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