We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
