big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
