Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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