What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
