In the future we'll all be gay
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
