I got chris browned last night
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
