I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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