"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
