I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize