You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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