I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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