That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
