Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
