Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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