Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
