i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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