if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
