There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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