I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
