Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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