You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
