I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
