Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i dont even know how to be here
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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