she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
