k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
