And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
