We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
