she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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