I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
there was a trapeze. enough said
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
