he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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