New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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