just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
