You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize