i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
