whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
