a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
