We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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